- Chuck norris can strangle you with a cordless phone
- Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding
- Some people wear Superman pajamas Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
- A fear of confined spaces is known as claustrophobia A fear of heights is known as acrophobia A fear of spiders is known as arachnophobia A fear of Chuck Norris is known as logic
- Guns Carry Chuck Norris For Protection
- Some kids write their names in snow with their pee Chuck Norris can write his name in concrete with his pee
- Chuck Norris can delete the Recycle Bin
- Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle
- If successfully harnessed for energy, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could provide the country of Sweden with power for 3 days, 8 hours and 14 minutes
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice
- Death once had a chuck Norris experience
- Chuck Norris doesn’t have to do anything for a Klondike bar
- Chuck Norris can speak braille
- Chuck Norris’ calendar has no April 1st Because nobody fools Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
- If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google, Google doesn’t provide its standard response, “Did you mean Chuck Norris?” Instead, Google simply responds, “Run Run for your life While you still have an infinitesimally small chance”
- Chuck Norris can answer a missed call
- Chuck Norris once challenged the Hulk to an arm wrestling contest It was agreed upon in advance that the loser would tattoo his complete body the color green
- Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch He decides what time is IT
- Chuck Norris once challenged Superman to a race around the world It was agreed upon in advance that the loser would have to wear tights for the rest of his life
- Chuck Norris never needs a flash light, he just stares into the darkness and it moves out of the way
- Chuck Norris does not get frostbite Chuck Norris bites frost
- Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with teddy bear Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
- Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it
- They were going to put Chuck Norris face on Mount Rushmore , but the rock wasn’t hard enough
- Chuck Norris once played himself in Russian Roulette , and he won No Questions asked
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
- Once , Chuck Norris swam to the Virgin Islands Now they’re just called “The Islands “
- Some people wear Superman pajamas Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
- Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves
- Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin It’s descendants are know today as Giraffes
- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of Surprise
- Chuck Norris has been to Mars before , that’s why there are no signs of life
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