Chuck Norris Sayings

Chuck Norris

  1. Chuck norris can strangle you with a cordless phone
  2. Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover
  3. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding
  4. Some people wear Superman pajamas Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
  5. A fear of confined spaces is known as claustrophobia A fear of heights is known as acrophobia A fear of spiders is known as arachnophobia A fear of Chuck Norris is known as logic
  6. Guns Carry Chuck Norris For Protection
  7. Some kids write their names in snow with their pee Chuck Norris can write his name in concrete with his pee
  8. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycle Bin
  9. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle
  10. If successfully harnessed for energy, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could provide the country of Sweden with power for 3 days, 8 hours and 14 minutes
  11. Chuck Norris can divide by zero
  12. Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice
  13. Death once had a chuck Norris experience
  14. Chuck Norris doesn’t have to do anything for a Klondike bar
  15. Chuck Norris can speak braille
  16. Chuck Norris’ calendar has no April 1st Because nobody fools Chuck Norris
  17. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
  18. If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google, Google doesn’t provide its standard response, “Did you mean Chuck Norris?” Instead, Google simply responds, “Run Run for your life While you still have an infinitesimally small chance”
  19. Chuck Norris can answer a missed call
  20. Chuck Norris once challenged the Hulk to an arm wrestling contest It was agreed upon in advance that the loser would tattoo his complete body the color green
  21. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch He decides what time is IT
  22. Chuck Norris once challenged Superman to a race around the world It was agreed upon in advance that the loser would have to wear tights for the rest of his life
  23. Chuck Norris never needs a flash light, he just stares into the darkness and it moves out of the way
  24. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite Chuck Norris bites frost
  25. Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with teddy bear Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
  26. Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it
  27. They were going to put Chuck Norris face on Mount Rushmore , but the rock wasn’t hard enough
  28. Chuck Norris once played himself in Russian Roulette , and he won No Questions asked
  29. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
  30. Once , Chuck Norris swam to the Virgin Islands Now they’re just called “The Islands “
  31. Some people wear Superman pajamas Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
  32. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves
  33. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin It’s descendants are know today as Giraffes
  34. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of Surprise
  35. Chuck Norris has been to Mars before , that’s why there are no signs of life
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